Classic Cafes Website

A wonderful evocation of the classic London Cafe!

http://www.classiccafes.co.uk/
"Often dismissed as 'greasy spoons', Classic Cafes are actually little gems of British vernacular high street design. This site celebrates their ambience and architecture with over 130 vintage London Formica caffs (and many others around Britain) reviewed, revealed & reappraised."

Good Honest Cafes!

I haven't posted a breakfast review for a while and since it says that this blog is about 'breakfasts, libraries and london' I'd better do one!

The Workman's Inn Cafe, 147 Blackstock Road, Finsbury Park - nothing to look at but does good, cheap and honest food. I used to work in the library around the corner, until they closed it down (it's not a new thing!), and frequented this cafe some 15 years ago.

Mushroom omelette, chips, beans, 2 slice and a tea = £4.40. Served on a large oval plate, they didn't have to use this device to make the portion look big it was big!

Cafe Delight, 351 Green Lanes, N4 - a welcoming, bright and clean cafe with a very friendly chef/owner. I reckon that this is the best cafe in the area and i use it regularly.

Mushroom omelette, chips, beans, 2 slice and a tea = £4.90. One of the best mushroom omelettes i have tasted in a cafe! And i hear you say "What can go wrong with a mushroom omelette?", well let me tell you i have had some stinkers!

When,or why, did we become so insincere?

"Hi Sir, how are you today" "How are you doing today, Sir" etc etc etc. These are the inane platitudes that greet you in most cafes and shops nowadays. I was even asked in a greasy spoon recently, after consuming egg, chips and beans, two slice and a tea, "how was it, sir", I said "fine thanks" but wish i had said "the battery eggs were delicious, the frozen chips just the right side of crispy, the catering pack beans great and the industrial spread on the value bread went down a treat", but I didn't!

I'm not blaming the staff, most of them work for poverty level wages, it's the corporate 'customer service' ethos based on profit maximisation and the blatant insincerity that I can't stomach.

Wild exaggerations #1

old geezer in cafe;

"European Union! don't tell me about the fuckin' European Union"
"We're the fuckin' European Union"
"If you go to fuckin' Europe there's no cunt there, they're all over here"

The English Swearing Championships

Venue: Metrochef Cafe, Holloway Road
Time: 8:30am

1st participant, old cockney-type geezer "fucking asthma! you don't know what fucking asthma is you cunt!"
Challenger, another old geezer "I,ve got to use three fucking nebulisers"
1st - "I was nearly fucking dead three times, three fucking times", "they told me to stop fucking smoking, but I told them to go and fuck themselves, bunch of cunts"

Thank god for old cockney geezers and cafes!

Healthy Eating!!!

Conversation overheard in 'Metrochef Cafe', Holloway Road, 5 women, 4 of them order 'Chicken Burger and Chips' the fifth one "I aint havin chips, they're unhealthy", "can I have a double cheeseburger with no salad, I don't like salad"
It's good to see that the NHS healthy lifestyle campaigns are having an effect!

More 'Up the Holloway'!

In search of a quiet Saturday lunch-time feed I went to the Masterchef Cafe on the Holloway Road, a place I know well. The cafe was virtually empty, but within minutes of sitting down, ordering a mushroom omelette, chips and beans, 2 slice and a tea and contemplating the Guardian crossword, my relative peace and tranquility was shattered!

The waitress, a loud 50 something fellow Scot, yelled something to her daughter, who was sitting in the cafe with her two kids, who both started to scream.

Her daughter yelled something back and it continued! Then things took a turn for the worst, the daughters friend came walking in, she then started yelling and then her mobile phone rang and she started yelling in to that.

By this time I was truly rattled and trying to finish my lunch as quickly as possible, finally suffering from indigestion I escaped.

'Old School' cafe in Boscobel Street

It was a lovely bright autumn day so I decided to walk along the canal from Camden to Portobello Road. It's amazing how quickly you can cross London by way of its waterways.
I came off the canal at Lisson Grove and walked to an old favourite cafe of mine, the 'Costella Cafe', formerly 'Mario & Mike's', on Boscobel Street. The owner is Italian and does a mean 'bubble & squeak'. Nothing fancy but a classic.

Bubbleboy's guide to eating cheaply in London

London is generally regarded as one of the most expensive places to live, work and play in the world, but there are still a plethora of cheap places to eat. I will grant you that a fair majority are of poor standard, but a good few shine out as beacons for the skint and hungry.
Here are a few of my favourites:
'Tai' Veg Noodle Bar, 10 Greek Street, W1 - one of many 'Tai' veggie and vegan cafes in London - an unlimited buffet of 'mock' meats, noodles, rice and veg all for a £5 (approx)
'Leon' - there are now 8 branches in London serving cheap Mediterranean style wholefood, the sweet potato falafels are lovely. The Spitalfields branch is my favourite, is has a great outdoor area.
Any of the Indian restaurants on Drummond Street, especially 'Chutney's'
'Wetherspoons' - for their ultra-cheap veggie breakfasts for £2.49 (and they use free-range eggs!)
'Jai Krishna' - a brilliant cheap Indian veggie restaurant on Stroud Green Road, Finsbury Park (now has another branch on Turnpike Lane)
Any of the Indian cafes on Turnpike Lane, especially 'Salim's'
'Mega Bite Cafe' - a very plain ordinary looking Chinese cafe next to the Emirates Stadium which serves mountainous plates of very good, cheap Chinese grub (also 'Green Jade' on Holloway Road, another great cheap Chinese cafe)

and last but not least, the thousands of cafes and 'greasy spoons' in London, with their 'Set Breakfasts' and 'Roast Dinners'.

Cafe Musac

"any recorded background music; (more widely) light, bland music of a kind regarded as easy to listen to, whether recorded or live" OED Definition

No! Cafe Musac is not another new Hampstead eating establishment, but refers to the incessant stream of drivel that is played in most cafes nowadays.
All I want to do in the morning, before tackling the horny beast 'work' is to sit quietly in my local cafe, eat my usually mediocre breakfast and struggle with the Guardian crossword, not have 'House' music or some moronic radio presenter booming in my ear.
We are bombarded by noise pollution everywhere we go, is nothing sacred?

More 'Up the Holloway'

The Green Jade, 219 Holloway Road is a great place for Chinese food, take-away or sit down. It is more of a cafe than a restaurant but the quality of the food is excellent and very cheap.

I have lunch there quite often and on one of my recent visits overheard the following discourse between a customer and the woman behind the counter.

The punter had been standing looking at the menu for a good few minutes and then said "I don't like chinese food", the counter woman replied "well this is a chinese restaurant", "yeah but haven't you got anything else", "no, you will have to go somewhere else", "don't be so rude", "i'm not being rude, this is a chinese restaurant"
- at this point she walks out complaining loudly!!!

I wonder if she goes into her local Fish & Chips shop and asks for a Chicken Tikka Masala???

Do you want bacon with your vegetarian breakfast?

Having braved the pea-souper that hung over London on Sunday morning, I ventured along the rubbish strewn streets of Harringay looking for a cafe that was open at 8.30 am. Unfortunately I found the Corner Cafe and Deli on Green Lanes.

I ordered a Set7 which was one of the veggie breakfasts on offer, egg, beans, tomatoes, hash browns, mushrooms, 2 toast and a tea, all for the princely sum of £4.50. I was going to try the bubble but decided against it, mainly because it was spelt 'buble' on the menu!

The breakfast came a little too quickly for my liking, but looked adequate untill I noticed that hiding under the beans were two rashers of bacon. I called the waitress over and pointed the mistake out to her, she said that she would remove the bacon and give me the breakfast back. I responded that I didn't want to eat the breakfast as it had been contaminated with bacon residue and asked for a newly cooked breakfast. This caused a lot of discussion between her and the cook and after much head scratching, and 10 minutes, another Set7 arrived. There was no apology or refund offered.

All in all a very poor experience and one I definitely wouldn't recommend.

Up the Holloway!

Ah the joys of Holloway Road!
Sitting in one of my many local cafes on the Holloway Road today I overheard the following snippetts of conversation;

between an 11/12 year old boy and his beloved mum, boy to mum "stop fuckin' hasslin' me, you know I don't use a knife and fork".
Three men to the waitress, after ordering and receiving 3 plates of fish & chips, "have these been cooked seperately from the other food?", waitress "what do you mean?", one of the men "we are muslims and will not eat anything that has been cooked in the same oil as pork etc", waitress "why didn't you tell me this before you ordered?", men "it's ok we'll pay anyway", which they did and left.
I left shortly afterwards to go back to work only to find a certain Mr. Behan, of pissing on the Oxford English Dictionaries in the Central Library fame, lying on the pavement, with urine soaked trousers, cursing and swearing.
And people say they are bored of London!!!!

Bubble the same colour as the walls!

Recently I had what I can only describe as the worst breakfast I have ever had, which is quite an achievement as I must have had thousands.
This award goes to the 'Arsenal Cafe', 25 Blackstock Road, N4.
I had 2 eggs, bubble, mushrooms, tomatoes, 2 toast and a tea, £4.60 for the lot. Lets start with the bubble which consisted of fried mashed potatoes, peas, diced carrot and onions, it was a lurid bright green colour, which incidentally matched the colour of the walls. The eggs weren't cooked properly, the whites were still runny and the 'fried' tomatoes were raw.
I mentioned these shortcomings to the young waitress and she shrugged her shoulders and said that she didn't see what the problem was, even though I had left nearly all of it uneaten on the plate. I paid up and gladly left.
What a miserable experience!

Dodgy Deptford!

Deptford used to be one those places in London that was stuck between other places of interest, a hinterland, somewere that you passed through. But now I must admit it is one of the areas that I visit quite reguarly. There's a bustling market and some interesting new cafes and bars , there are also some very old fashioned boozers, like throw backs to the 70's, drunk old men and carpet on the floor, which is no bad thing in this age of gastropubs.
Anyway on one of my recent visits I popped into the Deptford Cafe, one of the many in the market, for sustenance. I had my usual, bubble, eggs, beans, 2 slice and a tea. The bubble was by far one of the worst I have ever tasted, fried packet mashed potato, with no cabbage, onion, no nothing! In fact it was like eating burnt wallpaper paste. The bread was economy class and on it was the normal industrial spread we have come to expect in most cafes.
The only redeeming feature of the place was the clientele, a curious mixture of local characters, one woman's false teeth fell out of her mouth and into her tea, how quaint!

Borough Bubble!

Maria’s Market Café, Borough Market, SE1

I had bubble, 2 eggs and beans, 2 slice and a tea.

Re-incarnation of the much missed ‘Borough Café’ formerly in Park Street. Wonderful traditional bubble cooked in its own pan. Hailed by many as serving the best bubble in London. A great place to sit and watch the world go by, especially when the market is on.

The Breakout!

Opposite Pentonville Prison on Caledonian Road there is a cafe called 'The Breakout', a nice play on words!

Veli's Cafe, Drayton Park, N5

Just had bubble, two eggs, beans, 2 slices of crusty bread and a tea at Veli's Cafe in Drayton Park, opposite the big letters that spell out 'ARSENAL' at the Emirates.

Bubble was fried mashed potato with peas, carrots and cabbage, not proper bubble but not bad.

The eggs were cooked properly, not in one of those round moulds!, but the yolks were tasteless and anaemic.

A good cafe with friendly staff and full of builders, so plenty of loud banter about football, tits etc. Not for the faint hearted!